Masthead
Every department head, correspondent, and person of interest currently on payroll, allegedly.
Dee RegulationDept. of Late-Stage Extraction
Phyllis BusterDept. of Systematic Paralysis
Ivanna CoupDept. of Domestic Paranoia
Tara GriftDept. of Commodified Salvation
Dixie Rect-WingDept. of Repressed Heritage
Chastity Belt-WayDept. of Manufactured Consensus
Krystal Meth-odistDept. of Monetized Faith
Anne EcdoteDept. of Selective Memory
Sy Ren SongDept. of Engagement Optimization
Wanda Lust-SabbaticalDept. of Outsourced Enlightenment
Della VuDept. of Manufactured Nostalgia
Ella GorithmDept. of Manufactured Virality
Val IdationDept. of Preemptive Grievance
Bea HavioralDept. of Emotional Sanitation
Cassie FlowDept. of Aspirational Poverty
Mia CulpaDept. of Performative Accountability
Paula GraffDept. of Recreational Grief
Cora BerateDept. of Independent Research
Vera AnceDept. of Sanctified Zoning
Edma Aas-DevereauxDept. of Weaponized Self-Care
Miss ManagementDept. of Delegated Blame
